Saturday, September 27, 2014

A day late and a dollar short

Time Travelers do it Anachronistically
by Alison Bruce (and friends)

I know a few Western Romance authors who have dabbled in time travel, or even made it the focus of a series. I have also been tempted. So far I've only pulled characters forward in time in order to interview them. My alter-ego, Nighthawk the Avian Interviewer, would pull anyone from anywhere to introduce the character to a new audience.

Nighthawk is retired, but here's a taste of the old crow's show.

Nighthawk: Welcome to Nighthawk Talk Radio. I'm Nighthawk and this is our intern du jour, Cherie du Bois. Joining us tonight is our guest Marly Landers, of Under A Texas Star.

You’ve been traveling with Texas Ranger Jase Strachan and, from all reports, been a significant aid in his investigations. What are your career goals?

Cherie: I want to host a reality series - something that combines my two loves: fashion and extreme skin care.

Nighthawk: I meant our guest, Cherie. Marly, do you see yourself continuing to work with the Texas Rangers?

Marly: I’d like to. Not sure if I’ll get away with it when they find out I’m not a man. One thing I know for sure, I’m not going back to Aunt Adele!

Cherie: I know you're disguised as a boy, but what do you do to keep a healthy glow on the trail, without burning your cheeks, your nose, your forehead?

Marly: I’ve got a hat.

Nighthawk: Cherie, Marly doesn’t exactly have access beauty products, you know. Respectable women didn’t wear makeup - boys certainly didn’t.

Cherie: Not so! A man with a little money to spend might get a facial from his barber. Though maybe he didn't call it that. Women had face creams and tonics to clean the face - or remove freckles.

Marly: I kinda like my freckles but Miss Cherie is right. My aunt didn’t hold with vanity but she washed her face with sour milk once a week to keep her complexion healthy. She always wore a hat to keep the sun off her face and used rose water when she bathed. When I turned sixteen, she gave me a bottle of lavender water because she said that was better for young skin and the stronger smell would keep me fresh.

Cherie: Did she pinch your cheeks or show you how to put lamp black on your eyes?

Marly: I’ve seen how other girls do it, but that would have been too wanton for Aunt Adele.

Nighthawk: Yes, well... How do your skills match against your average Texas Ranger?

Marly: So far the only Texas Ranger I ever met was Jase. I’m a greenhorn compared to him - especially in the saddle. I’m a good shot, though. Aunt Adele taught me to shoot with a rifle and Jase taught me how to shoot a revolver.

Cherie: Tell, me, do you get saddle sore, or do you optimize all those hours on horseback to tighten your glutes and abdominals?

Marly: My what and my what?

Cherie: I can suggest some isometric exercises that will keep you toned and strengthen your pelvic floor. Happy muscles lead to happy skin.

Nighthawk: Cherie!

Marly: Well, ma'am, I'm not sure about happy muscles, but I'm stronger than I look. I've also got excellent hearing. Fact is, I think I hear Jase callin' me now...


Caroline Clemmons said...

Cute post, Alison.

Ginger Jones Simpson said...

Love it Alison. I'm done a few character interviews and you can really loosen up with them and let your real self shine through.