Trinity tossed the saddle aside and stormed over to him, this time standing on eye level with him since he was still sitting down. She put one hand up on her hip and one finger in his face.
"I know this man you have become is not the man I know you want to be. You are not even the same man who rescued me. What happened to you? How did you become such a coward?" she asked again.
He was tired of hearing that too. "You want to know what happened to me," he yelled. "You want to know what happened to me! You happened to me! I was dead when I met you! I was gonna deliver Jolene here, see her settled into a more secure life with a new husband, and then I was gonna fade away! Then you come along and I see you fightin' for yo life when you should be dead and it tore me apart! I saw another dead soul like mine only I knew you could fight for yo life. You survived when you shouldn't have ... I shouldn't survive," he finally stopped and shook his head.
"You've done somethin' to me and I can't undo it," he continued. "I want to push you away. I want Jolene to find a proper husband. I want things to fall into their rightful place so I can turn to dust and join Judith..."
He stopped talking as Trinity lowered her finger from his face and looked at him. She looked so vulnerable. "I don't deserve you in my life," he said honestly.
Trinity looked at him in a way she had never done before. The tender regard in her eyes nearly broke him. It was as if she really understood what he was trying to say, for the first time. She brought her hand up toward his hair and he flinched.
"Don't," he warned as he looked away from her. "I need to keep my distance."
She shook her head. "No. You don't," she responded. She was about to touch him again when he rose from his chair and nearly tipped it over as he backed away. She did not follow him.
"I never asked for you, Trinity," he said, looking at her small trembling frame.
"Do you know what I have thought all these months?" she asked him as she let her arm drop to her side.
He closed his eyes and shook his head. He tried to conjure an image of Judith but she was not there. Not even the ugly yellow nightgown would come to mind. All he could see was a scarred body he had kissed everywhere.
"I have been thinking all these months you saw my scars and then didn't want me anymore," she confessed. His eyes flew open at that statement and he saw a tear make its way down her face. He tried to keep the same refrain he had before, tried not to feel her, see her, but he couldn't do it.
He closed the distance between them in a few strides and picked her up into his arms. "How could you be so beautiful and ever think a man wouldn't want you," he asked smoothly.
You can find a copy of this book at : https://www.amazon.com/Destinys-Purpose-Destiny-Letisha-Stanton/dp/1612525865 or http://www.desertbreezepublishing.com/destiny-series-book-one-destinys-purpose-epub/