Funny Cowboy Sayings by Rhonda Frankhouser

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While researching my latest Western Romance, I happened on to some great Cowboy Sayings I'd like to share.

Western writers are always looking for something authentic, and funny to add to their stories, so check out these great lists I found at https://grammar.yourdictionary.com/slang/funny-cowboy-sayings.html.

Cowboy Wisdom and Humor

Ever since a man rode a horse, there has been cowboy wisdom. Enjoy these funny cowboy sayings:

• Always drink upstream from the herd.

• An onion can make people cry; but, there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.

• Any cowboy can carry a tune. The trouble comes when he tries to unload it.

• Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.

• Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.

• Generally, you ain't learnin' nothing when your mouth's a-jawin'.

• If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.

• I took to the life of a cowboy like a horse takes to oats.

• If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.

• It's better to keep your mouth shut and look stupid than open it and prove it.

• If it doesn't seem to be worth the effort it probably isn't.

• Just 'cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean you have to offer it a place to sit down.

• Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back.

• Nature gave us all something to fall back on, and sooner or later we all land flat on it.

• The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket

• The only good reason to ride a bull is to meet a nurse.

• Treat a woman like a racehorse, and she'll never be a nag.

• There' are two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

• When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

• When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

• We all got pieces of crazy in us, some bigger pieces than others.

• When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

Things a Cowboy Should Not Do

Here are some words to live by according to cowboys. Some are really good advice and all are funny cowboy sayings.

• Don't squat with your spurs on.

• Don't let your yearnings get ahead of your earnings.

• Don't dig for water under the outhouse.

• Don't go in if you don't know the way out.

• Don't mess with something that ain't bothering you.

• Never drive black cattle in the dark.

• Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.

• Never miss a good chance to shut up.

• Never ask how stupid someone is 'cause they'll turn around and show you.

• Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.

• Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

Horse Quotes and Sayings

What would a cowboy, or cowgirl, for that matter, be without his or her horse? Is it even possible to be a cowboy without a horse? Here are some funny sayings about horses.

• If you get thrown from a horse, you have to get up and get back on, unless you landed on a cactus; then you have to roll around and scream in pain.

• A cowboy is a man with guts and a horse.

• If you climb in the saddle, be ready for the ride.

• The horse stopped with a jerk-- and the jerk fell off!

• When in doubt, let your horse do the thinkin'.

• Speak your mind, but ride a fast horse.

Cowboys have a way of looking at things a little differently than the rest of us. Their wisdom is simpler and more down to Earth.

Rhonda Frankhouser is an award-winning western romance writer living in the beautiful state of Georgia. Follow her at www.rhondafrankhouserbooks.com.