Friday, June 13, 2025

Let's Shake On It ~ D. K. Deters

 


Recently, I wrote a scene for my work in progress (WIP) with characters shaking hands. While I had received several critiques, only one savvy reviewer flagged it to me. Specifically, I showed a woman shaking hands with a man in the mid 1800s, when, in reality, the handshake for women became widespread late in the 19th to early 20th century.

As it turns out, a wealth of information is available about the handshake.

How did the handshake start? In 1870, Harper’s Weekly states: “In early and barbarous times, when every savage or semi-savage was his own lawgiver, judge, soldier and policeman” two strangers would offer each other their right hand — “the hand alike of offense and defense” — in order “to show the hand was empty, and that neither war nor treachery was intended.”


Before handshakes, a woman might greet a man with a conservative nod or a curtsy. Through the years, the handshake evolved from a simple gesture to a social ritual with several rules of etiquette.

I’ll mention a couple of early guidelines. In a 1900 issue From The Delineator, How and When to Shake Hands: “When a man is introduced to a woman, she does not shake hands with him unless he is decidedly elderly or distinguished. If he is the husband or brother of the woman presenting him, it is natural to receive him cordially by shaking hands; but it is not good form to do so if he is a mere acquaintance.”

Also, from Lillian Eichler’s “Book of Etiquette” published in 1921: “The etiquette of handshaking is simple. A man has no right to take a lady's hand until it is offered. He has even less right to pinch or retain it. Two ladies shake hands gently and softly. A young lady gives her hand but does not shake a gentleman's unless she is his friend. A lady should always rise to give her hand; a gentleman, of course, never dares to do so seated.”

The times have certainly changed since then. Now that I’ve updated my WIP to show the characters politely nodding, I wonder what our ancestors would say about the handshake today.

4 comments:

Julie Lence said...

I never would've guessed there were so many rules. I think it's so much of a habit in today's society that we don't think about the origin. Thank you for sharing, D.K.!

D. K. Deters said...

I agree. Also a lot of people just nod, wave, or fist bump these days.

GiniRifkin said...

Hi D.K. Interesting and helpful post. always appreciate info that helps me to write better (or more historically correct) stories. Thanks

D. K. Deters said...

Hi Gini. Thanks for reading the post. Glad it was helpful.