Cherish Your Cherished People by Rhonda Frankhouser

Hello fellow Cowboy Kisses members. I'm not writing today about sexy cowboys, interesting history or an upcoming new release. I'm sharing a little bit of my heart as it is currently in a broken state. Please indulge my need to share.

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It's easy to feel anger and sadness when you lose someone you love so dearly. For most, living a full and wholesome 78 years, is a true gift. To those left behind, doomed to live the rest of their lives without that loving presence, it's far too short.  

My family and I lost a true, honest and giving soul this past week. A god-fearing man who proudly served his country; gave of his time and heart to whomever needed him; and raised a beautiful family with his wife of over fifty years. He was a father who taught by example, how to be a good and loving human being. My father-in-law, Bill Frankhouser, Sr, was someone to emulate. Someone to value. Someone to remember. 

My husband, Bill Jr, with his father, Bill Sr. His best friend and hero, playing Pebble Beach!

* * *

This story is not so different than the thousands now being told in the wake of the pandemic. We are not more special than the next family who lost a loved one due to complications from CoVid 19, but for us, this is devastating, this loss is raw, and real, and has created pain that needs to be expelled from my soul.

I'm not going to preach to you about precautions and vaccines. My purpose is not to spew more frustration to an already frustrated society. My purpose is to call attention to this very important realization. Please, whatever you do, stop hating and blaming and start loving and living again. Time is running out for all of us. We will all lose someone, we will all die from something, someday. Stop wasting your time!

Please - take my advice - use your time to cherish.

You see, it's not the 'things' we miss about our loved ones when they're gone. It's the love and fullness that disappears with them when they leave us. It's the empty silence once filled with their laughter, that echoes against a broken heart. How will we ever survive without that unconditional love, wisdom, and sincere embrace when we need it most?

My message, should you choose to hear me, is >>>>Do not wait until it's too late to show them how much you care. Pay attention. Take the time. Listen!

A list of things I wish I would have asked?

• What is your favorite thing?
• What would you like to see before it's too late?
• What would you have liked to have done different with your life?
• Tell me all about my grandparents? Family history? Family secrets?
• What can I do to make your life better?
• Will you name all the people in all these old pictures?
• And so on, and so on, and so on....

Ask your questions. Show your love and appreciation, Every! Single! Day!

My family's world is smaller, and ever so much sadder with the loss of this amazing man. Our patriarch. Our Friend. Our Hero. Our Father. Rest in Peace. Thank you for the understanding and kindness you bestowed on us. We will do our best to make you proud and we look forward to seeing you again one day.

Thanks for listening.

Beloved ghosts, twisted mysteries, and timeless love are my specialty!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Award-winning author, Rhonda Frankhouser, pens stories with beloved ghosts, twisted mysteries, and timeless love. Her favorite genres are Western and Contemporary Romance, with the occasional mainstream tear-jerker to keep things interesting. Rhonda's Ruby's Ranch Series, earned a starred review in Publisher's Weekly; a finalist honor in the Uncaged Review Raven Awards; a second runner up in the prestigious InD'Tale Magazine RONE awards and a Book and Benches, Reviewers Top Pic ~ Books of Distinction award. Her follow up Shadowing Souls Series and Let Yourself Believe Series, have captured the attention of both romance and mainstream readers alike. After a lifetime in Central California, Rhonda and her own knight in shining armor, moved to beautiful Northeast Georgia to embark on a brand new journey.

Subscribe to Rhonda's webpage at https://www.rhondafrankhouserbooks.com/
Follow Rhonda on Facebook https://m.facebook.com/RhondaFrankhouser/

• Return to Ruby's Ranch - Book 1 Ruby's Ranch Series - RONE Award Runner Up
• Escape from Ruby's Ranch, Book 2 Ruby's Ranch Series - Raven Award Runner Up
• Legacy of Ruby's Ranch, Book 3 Ruby's Ranch Series
• Christmas at Ruby's Ranch
• Health Nut Café
• Beyond Forever - Let Yourself Believe Series

PIONEERING GRIEF - Susan Horsnell

Wow, I cannot believe how fast the past month has gone.

Unfortunately it has not been a good one for my husband and myself. First we lost my dear father-in-law, then my mum and dad’s beautiful Jack Russell passed away and in the last couple of days we lost my father. It started me thinking about family and the devastation of loss, especially for the Western Pioneers in the United States.

 

How did the women cope with the loss of their husband?

In these days the husband was often the sole provider. Research shows they turned to Prostitution, hurriedly married again – often to someone many years older who was willing to take on a widow and another man’s children or, the lucky ones turned to family who were willing to help. Times were hard though, and often parents were unwilling to accept the burden of a widowed daughter and her children. She was often turned away to fend for herself. I cannot imagine the sadness these women would have felt at such rejection.

How did parents cope with the death of a child?

It is a well-known fact, the mortality rate of children during these harsh times was so much higher than today. There were none of the medications we take for granted, infection was rampant and being the “Wild West” – accidents happened on a regular basis. Some women literally ‘pined’ themselves to death, men either broke down in unimaginable despair or chose to deny the child had ever been born. The more ‘stoic’ couples, looked to each other for the strength to push through such tragedy. I often wonder, how many small crosses were erected along these treacherous trails? Do we really have any idea?

How did survivors cope with the rest of their family falling victim to Disease?

During their travels west, Pioneers were affected by weather, famine and disease. Whole families could be struck down with Yellow Fever, Influenza or some other rampant and highly contagious disease but sometimes there could be a lone survivor. How would this survivor feel? Many questioned why they had been spared when the rest of their family had been taken. Young men who survived such tragedy would often turn to alcohol or crime and within a few years many ended up dead themselves. Young children who weren’t taken in by other pioneer families, would be dropped off at orphanages in the next town they arrived at. At this time, the cruel and desperate conditions in some orphanages, would have been likened to a ‘fate worse than death.” Their futures would have been dismal thanks to the attitudes of the day – most orphans were considered worse than street waifs. These poor little mites really had their chance of a successful life, reduced.

 

 

Do I wish I had been alive during such harsh times? Definitely not. I have the utmost admiration for pioneers in any country. They knew what it was to ‘do it tough’ and often did it without complaint. These days if our computer doesn’t boot up fast enough, we think we’re hard done by. We have a lot to learn about strength of character from these people, about conquering hardships and accepting what we cannot change. About accepting death and moving on.

We also need to learn to be thankful. In times of death we need to remember the deceased’s’ contribution to this world. We should celebrate their lives and try not to grieve and mourn our losses too badly. In both my father’s and father-in-laws’ cases, it was a privilege to have been related to men of such standing. They each loved their families dearly, worked hard to provide for their wives and their children and a rarity in this day and age – they each honoured their marriage vows for more than 60 years. Will they be missed? Deeply. But, I will smile when I recall the good times along with the things they did and said.

I am grateful for the fact that these days, people can pass away quietly, without pain, thanks to modern medicine.  How gut wrenching it must have been for some of the pioneering families to watch loved ones die in such agony.

So, next time you feel like complaining about a computer that won’t start, a car in front that is moving too slowly or the rain that bucketed down after you just finished washing your car – think of your forebears.

Until next month, God Bless and take care.

Sue

Susan Horsnell 
Western Romance Author

  
Website:    http://horsnells.wix.com/susan--1  

Blog:          http://susanhorsnell.com/