Wow, I cannot believe how fast the past month has gone.
Unfortunately it has not been a good one for my husband and
myself. First we lost my dear father-in-law, then my mum and dad’s beautiful Jack
Russell passed away and in the last couple of days we lost my father. It
started me thinking about family and the devastation of loss, especially for
the Western Pioneers in the United States.
How did the women
cope with the loss of their husband?
In these days the husband was often the sole provider. Research
shows they turned to Prostitution, hurriedly married again – often to someone
many years older who was willing to take on a widow and another man’s children
or, the lucky ones turned to family who were willing to help. Times were hard though,
and often parents were unwilling to accept the burden of a widowed daughter and
her children. She was often turned away to fend for herself. I cannot imagine
the sadness these women would have felt at such rejection.
How did parents cope
with the death of a child?
It is a well-known fact, the mortality rate of children
during these harsh times was so much higher than today. There were none of the
medications we take for granted, infection was rampant and being the “Wild West”
– accidents happened on a regular basis. Some women literally ‘pined’
themselves to death, men either broke down in unimaginable despair or chose to
deny the child had ever been born. The more ‘stoic’ couples, looked to each
other for the strength to push through such tragedy. I often wonder, how many
small crosses were erected along these treacherous trails? Do we really have
any idea?
How did survivors
cope with the rest of their family falling victim to Disease?
During their travels west, Pioneers were affected by
weather, famine and disease. Whole families could be struck down with Yellow
Fever, Influenza or some other rampant and highly contagious disease but
sometimes there could be a lone survivor. How would this survivor feel? Many
questioned why they had been spared when the rest of their family had been
taken. Young men who survived such tragedy would often turn to alcohol or crime
and within a few years many ended up dead themselves. Young children who weren’t
taken in by other pioneer families, would be dropped off at orphanages in the
next town they arrived at. At this time, the cruel and desperate conditions in
some orphanages, would have been likened to a ‘fate worse than death.” Their
futures would have been dismal thanks to the attitudes of the day – most orphans
were considered worse than street waifs. These poor little mites really had
their chance of a successful life, reduced.
We also need to learn to be thankful. In times of death we
need to remember the deceased’s’ contribution to this world. We should
celebrate their lives and try not to grieve and mourn our losses too badly. In
both my father’s and father-in-laws’ cases, it was a privilege to have been
related to men of such standing. They each loved their families dearly, worked
hard to provide for their wives and their children and a rarity in this day and
age – they each honoured their marriage vows for more than 60 years. Will they
be missed? Deeply. But, I will smile when I recall the good times along with
the things they did and said.
I am grateful for the fact that these days, people can pass
away quietly, without pain, thanks to modern medicine. How gut wrenching it must have been for some
of the pioneering families to watch loved ones die in such agony.
So, next time you feel like complaining about a computer
that won’t start, a car in front that is moving too slowly or the rain that
bucketed down after you just finished washing your car – think of your
forebears.
Until next month, God Bless and take care.
Sue
Western Romance Author
Website: http://horsnells.wix.com/susan--1
3 comments:
Great post, Susan! I always say I would have loved to have lived as a pioneer. But then when I see this, maybe not. ;) It was a hard life, especially if you were a woman alone and with children. Sorry to hear of your losses. We are have a Celebration of Life for my father-in-law this weekend.
Awesome post, but I'm very sorry your losses spurred the topic. May the Good Lord hold you close and give you comfort.
I'm sorry for your losses, Sue, but I also appreciate how you have let them shape this post. Very well done.
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