Horse Sense - By Alison Bruce

horse sense: the ability to make good judgments or decisions : common sense
(First known use of horse sense: 1832)

“Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. ”
 W.C. Fields

Since I'm a bit overwhelmed with work right now, I've fallen back on my favorite pastime: sharing quotes. The ones I like best fall into one of two categories - clever puns and elegantly expressed common wisdom. I'll save the puns for another time.

“Always drink upstream from the herd.” 
Will Rogers

Will Rogers is an excellent source of common wisdom and wit. Born in Indian Territory (aka Oklahoma) in 1879, Rogers left school to become a cowboy. Later he performed with his lasso in wild west shows, circuses and vaudeville. Poorly educated but well-read, his act included humorous observations about people, politics and life. Soon, his observations became a bigger drawn than his rope tricks.

“If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.”
Will Rogers 

 If I were ever to go back in time, I'd like to meet Judge Roy Bean... as long as he wasn't judging me, of course. Wikipedia describes him as "an eccentric U.S. saloon-keeper and Justice of the Peace in Val Verde County, Texas, who called himself "The Law West of the Pecos"." He was known as the hanging judge, but he only sentenced two men to hang and one of them escaped. He talked a mean game.

“A decent cowboy does not take what belongs to someone else and if he does he deserves to be strung up and left for the flies and coyotes."
Judge Roy Bean

Then there are all those bits of practical advice passed down to us by good ol' Anon.

“Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want.” 

“Don’t cut in front and don’t crowd from behind.” 

“Oil all the wheels on your wagon, not just the squeaky one.”

Finding quotes from women of the west is a bit more challenging. Calamity Jane is reported to have said: “The bigger a man's gun the smaller his doodlewick.” But is that horse sense?

Annie Oakley seemed to have her fair share of practical wisdom as well a natural talent with a gun. She helped feed her family by hunting and later paid off the mortgage on the family farm with her earnings as a sharpshooter. Throughout her long career (she toured with the Wild West Show for twenty years, performed in exhibitions and acted in a stage play) she reportedly taught almost 15,000 women to use a gun.

Oakley believed strongly that it was crucial for women to learn how to use a gun, as not only a form of physical and mental exercise, but also to defend themselves. She said: "I would like to see every woman know how to handle guns as naturally as they know how to handle babies." - Wikipedia

“Aim at a high mark and you'll hit it. No, not the first time, nor the second time. Maybe not the third. But keep on aiming and keep on shooting for only practice will make you perfect.”
Annie Oakley

"Plugging" my books.

Wit, Wisdom and Chuckles

Wit and Wisdom from Will Rogers, Red Green and other Suspect Sources

By Alison Bruce

"If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there." Will Rogers

Will Rogers was a rancher, a roper, star of wild west shows, vaudeville, movies and radio. He wrote six books and thousands of columns and was particularly famous for his plain-speaking observations about American politics.

 "On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does." Will Rogers

Despite having been born in the nineteen century and dying before the world-changing second world war, Will Rogers' humor has stood the test of time.

"If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?" Will Rogers

In a thoroughly Canadian way, Red Green might be considered Will Rogers' successor... if you're willing to stretch the definition of successor a bit.

"Be really nice to your friends and family. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan." - Red Green

Created by comedian Steve Smith, Red Green is a source of wit, wisdom and what not to do with power tools. With duct tape, on the other hand, he's a pro and the official face of 3M Scotch Duct Tape.

 "You need only two tools.  If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40.  If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape."

Red Green doesn't belong in the old west, of course. But, just as Will Rogers' advice can be taken forward, some of Red's can be taken back.

"When you make a mistake, make amends immediately.  It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm."
"Never Interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
"Never pass up an opportunity to pee."
Red Green

Take the fishing cap and put a stetson on him and Red would fit in. In fact, there's a lot of us who could or would fit ourselves to the cowboy mold given the chance. Least ways, that's what my children keep telling me.

Strange Brew 8Feb2012