Humor in the Old West?

 Post by Doris McCraw

aka Angela Raines

Photo (C) Doris McCraw

Humor?

Rocky Mountain News, February 15, 1885

This little bit of humor comes from The Fairplay Flume of February 5, 1897

"They say that the sense of humor is very rare." "Well, most men have a sense of their own humor, but they haven't any sense of other people's humor."

To finish the piece about humor, I thought this article from the Colorado Daily Chieftain of May 26, 1892, might be of interest to we writers of the West.

There are so many strange articles in these old newspapers. I sometimes wonder how they got into print. I just have to share them for 'historic' purposes, I swear.

Amazon

Until Next Time, 

Stay Safe, Stay Happy, Stay Healthy.

Doris

Hilarious Housekeeping Hints from the 1800's By: Julie lence

Amazon.com

In most homes, women tackle the cleaning and the laundry. We have our favorite mops and soaps, and  somewhere between the scrubbing and folding, we long for a self-cleaning house. But compared to the housekeeping grind of the 1800’s, today’s philosophy and methods are simpler. Take a gander at some of the humorous logic from back then, courtesy of  …And You Think You’ve Got It Bad. I’d wager you wouldn’t wish for a self-cleaning house again, but I’d be lying.

Cleaning Tips:

While painting, keep the room well ventilated and eat acid fruits. Any woman with a mechanical turn of mind can paint.

To rid your home of moths, take common lamp-oil and wash the floor all over. It smells “loud” but will be gone in about two days. So will the moths.

Bellows, courtesy of objectlessons.org

To clean a papered wall, cut a large loaf of two-day old bread into eight pieces. Blow dust off wall with a bellows, rub a piece of bread down the wall in half yard strokes. Begin at the top of the room until upper part is cleaned then go around room repeating process until all has been gone over.

Laundry Tips:

According to …And You Think You’ve Got It Bad, wash day is Monday, and should be completed by 10 a.m. One should prepare the wash water Saturday night. Soft water works best, but if you don’t have soft water you can soften a barrel of well water by pouring a half-peck of boiled hard-wood ashes (and the water used to boil the ashes) into the barrel water. You’ll know enough has been added to produce the desired effect when the water takes on a curdled appearance and soon settles to perfectly clear. If milky in appearance, add more ashes and lye, but not too much as it will affect your hands in an unpleasant manner.

To stiffen linen cuffs and collars, add a small piece of white wax and one teaspoon of brandy to a pint of fine starch.

Victorian Vanity Set courtesy of Pinteret 

Clean a silk dress by first brushing with a velvet brush. Grate 2 potatoes into 1 quart of water. Let stand to settle, then strain it off quite clear. Sponge dress with potato water. (The velvet brush is the long brush at the top of the photo)

After reading these hints, I think I’ll stick to my All laundry soap and Snuggles fabric softener and hire a painter when needed.   

...And You Think You've Got It Bad by Barbara Fairchild Gramm can be purchased at Amazon.com  

Original Cover

Cowboy Slang & Humor

Summer officially begins later this month and is the time of year to kick back, relax and have fun. Below are sayings to enrich your Cowboy vocabulary and cartoons to tickle your funny bone. Enjoy!

Advertisin’ a leather shop: a tenderfoot dressed up in exaggerated leather trimmings, such as boots, chaps, and cowhide vest.

Airin’ his lungs: cussin’

Dealing brace: using crooked faro boxes or manipulating the cards so the dealer wins

Flannel mouth: a person who talks muck, a braggart

Grassed him: term used when a horse has thrown his rider

Hard-boiled hat: cowboy’s name fir a derby hat

Jamoka: coffee made from combining Java and Mocha

Kack: slang for saddle

Maniac den: cowboy name for a sheep wagon or camp

Pail fed: a calf raised on skimmed milk

Pimple: cowboy’s contemptuous name for a little eastern saddle

Rolls his own hoop: one attending to his own business

Sea plum: cowboy name for an oyster

Tank: a reservoir made by damming a stream

Cowboy Slang & Humor

From the Atlantic to the Pacific and from North to South, folks are firing up the backyard grill and spreading checkered cloths over tables in preparation of celebrating the 4^th of July. Potato salad, hot dogs and watermelon are in demand. Children are splashing in pools or running through sprinklers eagerly awaiting tonight’s fireworks. To add to the celebration across our great country, I present you with more Cowboy slang and humor. Happy 4th of July!!

Slang:

Bar dog: a bartender

Belly cheater: a cook

Camping on his trail: following someone too closely

Choke strap: derisive name for a necktie

Didn’t have a tail feather left: a person cleaned out at the gambling tables or a person who is completely broke

Dump: slang name for a bunkhouse

Flea bitten: a white horse covered in small, brown freckles

Gallin’: courting a girl

Haywire outfit: an inefficient outfit or ranch

Landed fork end up: thrown from a horse head first

Lead chucker: slang for gun

More lip than a muley cow: a person who talks too much

On the dodge: hiding from the law

Paul Pry: a meddler

Prairie wool: grass

Ride like a deputy sheriff: to ride recklessly

Roll your bed: command meaning you’re fired

Sacking: a saddle blanket

Shoots his back: when a horse bucks

Tear squeezer: a sad story

Humor:

 

More Cowboy Slang (and Humor)

Cowboys have a colorful slang. Here are some more terms to keep you entertained:

Advertisin’ a leather shop: a tenderfoot dressed up in aggerated leather ‘trimmins’, such as boot, chaps and cowhide vests

Airin’ the lungs: cussing

Base-burner: a drink of whiskey

Blue lightin’: a six gun

Down to the blanket: said of someone almost cleaned out

Educated thirst: a man who drinks champagne or fancy mixed drinks

Fly: a sheet stretched at the end of the chuck wagon to make shade for the cook

Gravel in his gizzard: courage or a brave man

Ivories: poker chips

Nice kitty: nickname for a skunk

On the dodge: hiding from the law

Peewees: boots with short tops

Quirly: a cigarette

Ranahan: a top hand or an efficient cowboy

Rib wrenches: spurs

Scratching gravel: climbing up a steep bank on horseback

Seraglios: a herd of wild mares with stallion

Shootin’ em out: getting cattle out of the corral an onto the range

Texas butter: gravy

Top Railer: man who sits on the top rail of the corral and advises who should do the work and take risks

Velvet couch: a bedroll

Went up to fork a cloud: a rider thrown high from his horse

  

How the West Was Fun

 By Alison Bruce

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I'm not sure where that puts parody, but you can't effectively poke fun at something unless you know it well and the best parody artists know and love their sources.

One of my favourite comic westerns is Blazing Saddles. In true Mel Brooks fashion, it goes over the top in poking fun at the western genre... and a few others in the process.

Blazing Saddles also tops the list of the top twenty western comedies compiled by Most Wanted Western Movies (rated by YouTube hits). With one exception, their top five match mine. (I haven't seen Destry Rides Again yet)

1. Blazing Saddles – (1974)
Gene Wilder, Madeline Kahn and Harvey Korman in one movie. That's a hat trick for me.

2. Support Your Local Sheriff – (1969)
 This was one of those movies my father could watch over and over. Every time he did, I'd stop what I was doing and watch it with him.

3. Destry Rides Again -(1939)
 I haven't seen it, but I took a look at the summary and it bears a passing resemblance to the plot of Blazing Saddles... which means Mel Brooks "borrowed" it. (As he borrowed the Bugs Bunny-style voice from Mel Blanc.)

4. Cat Ballou -(1965)
This one might tie for second place on my list. I love Lee Marvin as the drunken gunfighter. Another Lee Marvin movie made the list: Paint Your Wagon. I only saw it once, decades ago but I still remember the theme song.

5. Maverick – (1994)
 I used to watch the original series with my father. He loved James Garner - which is why one of his other favourite shows was Rockford Files. He wasn't that crazy about the movie but I thought it did justice to the cleverness and fun of the old show.

Comic strips, movies, TV shows... Does anyone remember F-Troop? And then there's the cat herding commercial. Gotta love it.

Old West Lingo

Writing a book requires discipline and dedication. And when writing a certain genre, research often comes into play. Such is the case for writing western historical romance. 

As the author, I want my story to be as true to the old west as possible. It’s easy for me to envision the outward appearance of a cowboy; Stetson, denims, chaps and spurs. And thanks to Hollywood movies, I have a vivid concept of the towns and saloons they frequented and the ranches they lived and worked on. Even mannerisms come easy to me. Some are the strong, silent type. Others are the quick-tempered, fist-throwing type. But when it comes to the lingo and the slang from their era, that’s where I sometimes draw a blank. But I have a wonderful reference book at my hands to help with this problem, Everyday Life in the 1800’s.  Below are some of the terminology I consider unique and funny:  

Cowboy Phrases:

Barking at a knot—wasting time

Could follow a woodtick on a solid rock—refers to one adept at tracking or following a trail

Doesn’t use up all his kindlin’ to make a fire—someone who doesn’t waste words on small talk

Don’t go wakin’ snakes—don’t make waves (I have used this one)

Loosened his hinges—someone thrown from a horse

Seven by nine—something or someone of inferior or common quality (I have used this one)

Terms:

Coffin varnish—bad coffee

Collar and hames—a stiff collar and necktie

Decorate a cottonwood—to be hung

Grass freight—goods shipped by a team of bulls

Lady broke—a very gentle horse

Muleys—hornless cattle

Parlor gun—another name for a derringer

Pull foot—leave in a hurry

Soaplock—a rowdy

Underwears—cowboy’s contemptuous name for sheep

Crime:

Bedchamber sneak—a thief’s assistant

Bloke buzzer—a pickpocket who specializes in picking the pockets of men only

Calaboose or hoosegow—prison

Kick—code word used by pickpockets to communicate which pocket a wallet is in

Necktie sociable—a hanging (I use this one frequently)

Pettifogger—an unscrupulous lawyer

Rounder—a habitual offender

Scratcher—a forger

Touching a jug—thieves language for robbing a bank