An earlier version of this post appeared
somewhere else, I have no idea where, it was so long ago…
He
walks into the room and your heart does a happy dance for a moment, your
insides melt and your smile widens to a half moon. That wisp of possession runs through you as
he stops to talk to someone else, giving you a slantways private smile, his
eyes telling you he’s bored but had to say hello to this person. Then, as he releases himself from the irksome
duty, nods pleasantly to various persons as he weaves his way toward you, and
finally drapes an arm around your shoulder, electrifying you so that your mouth
now aches with the even bigger smile, your sense of belonging sends all sorts
of pleasurable ‘naughty thoughts’ past your mind’s eye.
OR…
He
walks into the room and you automatically glance down at your watch, the
crevice between your eyes deepening, but you attempt to keep that smile
plastered on your face for the little group with whom you’re currently engaged. Your face hardens and your eyes pop as he
stops to talk to someone else, giving you the tiniest indication to say, ‘can’t
help it.’ When he finally weaves his way
toward you and possessively drapes an arm around your shoulder, you shrug it
off and mumble under your breath, ‘You’re forty-five minutes late. Where the hell were you?’ You’re boiling inside and know there’ll be a
scene when the two of you get home...
Love
possesses us and gives a sense of possession.
But possession isn’t control.
Possession isn’t having things your way, and it isn’t, as Eric Segal
said in his 1970 novel, Love Story, never having to say
you’re sorry—or never having to forgive.
We can interpret actions, facial expressions, tones of voice, and so on
in many different ways but without language—to enquire, to explain, or just to
state the facts—those interpretations are left wide open.
And
that is the premise of my new book, Always on My Mind. I hope you’ll read it. It is currently in pre-order with a release
date of Feb. 19th.
1972 - Vietnam, the pill, upheaval, hippies.
Wyoming rancher Cooper Byrnes, deeply attached to the land and his way of life, surprises everyone when he falls for vagabond hippie Cassie Halliday. Fascinated and baffled, he cannot comprehend his attraction—or say the words she wants to hear.
Cassie finds Coop intriguingly different. As she keeps house for him and warms his bed at night, she admits to herself she loves him but she misinterprets Coop's inability to express his feelings.
Parted, each continues to think of the other, but how can either of them reach out to say, "You were 'always on my mind'?"
Wyoming rancher Cooper Byrnes, deeply attached to the land and his way of life, surprises everyone when he falls for vagabond hippie Cassie Halliday. Fascinated and baffled, he cannot comprehend his attraction—or say the words she wants to hear.
Cassie finds Coop intriguingly different. As she keeps house for him and warms his bed at night, she admits to herself she loves him but she misinterprets Coop's inability to express his feelings.
Parted, each continues to think of the other, but how can either of them reach out to say, "You were 'always on my mind'?"
In pre-order at:
https://www.amazon.com/Always-My-Mind-Andrea-Downing-ebook/dp/B082S8TQD1/
He was alien, an oddity. But then, that’s
why she was traveling, to see the unusual, get outside of her own little world,
meet people who had different ideas, broaden her mind and learn to think in a
different way, see if people acted differently from those back in Boston. And
then, there would be Haight-Ashbury and independence and a new life. The
clothes he wore were like a costume, made him even more foreign—the hat, the
snapper shirt with a string tie, the pressed jeans and boots. And then the
short curly hair with sideburns. She liked his face, found him attractive—brown
eyes like rich chocolate, the parenthesis around his mouth when he smiled. And
the voice—a low tone, like a bass tuning up with a bit of gravel caught amongst
the strings.
He didn’t offer to buy her a drink but maybe
that wasn’t the done thing around here. He certainly knocked back his own,
wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stood there eyeing her as if he
were trying to decide what to do next. She felt like a slab of meat he was
considering eating, uneasy in his gaze. She turned to watch the dancers,
thought of getting away and finding her friends but going back to the situation
with Dave seemed so much less appealing than staying with this Coop.
Someone had cleared the mess, left the leg of
a broken chair leaning against the bar like a policeman’s baton waiting to be
used. The smoke from everyone’s cigarettes irritated her eyes and she wondered
if her makeup had smudged as her eyes teared. The smell of spilt beer fought
with the smoke as Elvis started singing ‘Always on My Mind’ from the jukebox.
Cooper tapped her elbow. “You dance?”
“Not like that.” She watched as couples
circled about the floor in slow steps. “I could try I suppose.”
Cooper grimaced. “Come on then.” A note of
reluctance colored his voice. “Let’s see what you can do.”
He took her hands, placing her left on his
shoulder and resting his right on her back to guide her. She felt like a fool,
there among the women who knew the steps, exactly how to dance, wearing their
flared skirts and frilly tucked-in blouses. She stumbled, but when Coop caught
her and tapped her along, she followed.
He was much older than she, and she felt
slightly uncomfortable in his arms, a no-doubt experienced man. The thought of
sleeping with him vaguely crossed her mind, but she wondered if older men had
more expectations and she wouldn’t know what to do, or even want to do it.
“I like this song.” It was an offering, an
‘I’m not as different as you might think’ she was giving him.
“You like Elvis?”
“Yeah. I don’t know much about him, other
than what I’ve seen on TV. But I like him. Though I like Dylan better, of
course.”
Cooper snorted. “Of course. All that freedom
stuff. You all back east are really big into freedom until you get called up to
serve. Then you find a way out, grad school or what have you.”
Was
that bitterness in his voice?
“I don’t see you serving your country.” She
glared at him, then looked away.
Coop heaved out a breath. “They won’t take
me. I got a II-C—agricultural deferment due to being the only man in my family
working my ranch.”
“So you found a way out.”
“Against my will. I’ll bet you anything
somewhere in your family is a brother or cousin or some such who got out
because he didn’t want to fight and
went off to some fancy school or whatever, happy as you please.”
She knew he was waiting for a response,
baiting her. “I haven’t got a brother; I’m an only child. And anyway, we’re
certainly not rich enough for some fancy grad school as you put it.” Something
suddenly struck her and she glanced around. “Shit, where’d the others go?”
“What others? Your friends? Probably kicked
out for fighting.”
She took her hands away, stood staring at
him, her eyes stinging as tears began to blossom. “They get kicked out but your
friend—Ty?—who threw the first punch is sitting there as if nothing had
happened?”
“Absolutely. He’s a regular. Of course,
they’re not going to throw him out. When will your friends come back here?
Never, I’d guess. Ty comes every week. He wouldn’t have caused trouble if your
pal Dave hadn’t started it.”
She scrambled in her jean pocket and pulled
out a small plastic packet followed by a bill. “Shit,” she muttered.
“You always talk like that?”
“Like what?”
“That word. I don’t often hear a woman say
that, not leastways a nice one.”
She stuffed the five dollars and the stash
back into her jeans. “You’ve got to be kidding. Are you living in some time
warp here? Men are allowed to use some words women aren’t? You must be joking!”
Panic started to rise within her, the thought of being left with this guy
worrying.
Coop got hold of her arm and yanked her out
of the way of the dancers. “Such a pretty little thing and such an ugly word
coming out of that rose bud of a mouth.”
But all she could do was bite her lip to try
to stop the tears. Where were her friends? She didn’t know where their van was
parked or where she might spend the night.
“What’s the matter now? You trying to figure
out how to smoke that crap you have there?”
“No, no, of course not. I just don’t know
where the van is. We parked on some side street and strolled around the town a
while before coming here.”
“What van?”
“The van we’re all living in.”
“Living in? All of you, together?”
“Four of us. What, you think we’re staying
in some fancy hotel?”
Cooper ran his hand over his face, his eyes
still on her. “Look, you can come home with me and—”
“Ha! You think I’m easy, that you can just
take advantage because I’m from out of town.”
“Oh, for chrissake. I’m not going to take
advantage of you. Don’t you fret. There’s a spare room where you can sleep for
the night and in the morning I’ll have someone, if not myself, find your
friends for you. Shouldn’t be too difficult. It’s a small town. Or would they
leave without you?”
“No,
I don’t think they’ll do that.” She couldn’t read his thoughts, whether he was
genuinely concerned for her or trying to get her into his bed. And she wasn’t
sure about where her friends might be, but then that psychedelic painted VW bus
shouldn’t be too hard to spot in daylight. And she didn’t fear him, thought he
was probably a man of his word, though she wasn’t sure why.
“Well, what is it then? You wanna sleep on
the street? It’s a warm May night, might only be a bit of frost later—”
“Yes, if you have a spare room.”
“Right. I’ll just have another beer before
they shut down.”
5 comments:
ooohhh, so much romantic tension on one page. This is really a stellar example of using all the tools in your writer's box. Really excellent post, Andi. I have to say having read an early draft of Always on the my Mind, I got such a chill re-reading the meeting of Coop and Cassie. This story not only had top notch writing and many-layered characters, it had a unique story-line and setting. I wish you every success with your new release! For us older readers, there was a touch of nostalgia going back to the 70's and younger readers will get a glimpse of a time not so long ago but so different than life now.
Patti, what kind words from a very fine author! Thank you. It did amaze me what I turned up about the 70s while writing--how women couldn't have a credit card on their own, refuse to have sex with your husband (!!!), could lose their job if pregnant, or run in the Boston Marathon. It's really weird to think about it now.
Thanks again!
Wow, what a great sounding book! I love the cover! What a different world then what Cassie is used to living at. The book sounds very intriguing and like a very good page turner, I love books like that. I will be adding this book to my TBR list as it sounds so very good! Thank you so much for sharing about your book. Have a Great rest of the week. God Bless you.
Yes, Alicia, it was a very different world in the 70s (have a look at my response to Patti about some things going on then for women). Thanks for your kind words. I hope you enjoy the book--out Feb. 19th!
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